For two or three months, my life was the strangest mixture of happiness
and misery. I walked about with the sense of some crisis hanging over
me. My "possessions" became fiercer and wilder, and the reaction so much
more exhausting that I fell into the habit of restoring myself by means
of the bottle of brandy which Mr. Stilton took care should be on hand,
in case of a visit from Joe Manton. Miss Fetters, strange to say, was
not in the least affected by the powerful draughts she imbibed. But, at
the same time, my waking life was growing brighter and brighter under
the power of a new and delicious experience. My nature is eminently
social, and I had not been able--indeed, I did not desire--wholly to
withdraw myself from intercourse with non-believers. There was too much
in society that was congenial to me to be given up. My instinctive
dislike to Miss Abby Fetters and my compassionate regard for Mrs.
Stilton's weakness only served to render the company of intelligent,
cultivated women more attractive to me. Among those whom I met most
frequently was Miss Agnes Honeywood, a calm, quiet, unobtrusive girl,
the characteristic of whose face was sweetness rather than beauty, while
the first feeling she inspired was respect rather than admiration.
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