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Parrish, Randall, 1858-1923

"Gordon Craig Soldier of Fortune"

I 've wasted my
chance in life, and been an infernal fool. I can see that plain enough,
and despise myself for it. I knew it before you came--the difference was
then I did n't care, while now I do. You have made me care. Yes, you
have, girl," as she glanced up again, plainly startled by this unexpected
avowal. "You care, and because I know you do, things are different. I
mean it; this is no word play. I tell you when a man has been steadily
dropping, in his own estimation, as well as the social scale; when he has
just about lost his pride, his self-respect, his realization of right and
wrong; when he sees nothing ahead worth fighting for; when he seeks
happiness in drink, and makes companions out of crooks and hobos, that is
when it amounts to something to have a real woman like you come into his
life, and hear her speak of trust and friendship. Lord! it 's like a
breath of pure air amid the foulness of the pit. I believe in _you_, and
I have n't believed in anybody for a long while. Perhaps you didn't
wholly mean all you said to me; perhaps you 'll forget about it when your
luck changes, but it 's a thing that is going to stay with me; you can
bet on that! I guess it was what I 've been hungry for; the loss of it
had taken the very heart out of me," I paused, fearful I might be going
too far, yet given fresh courage by the expression of her face.


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