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Neilson, William Allan, 1869-1946

"Robert Burns How To Know Him"

[ask]
Wae worth that brandy, burning trash!
Fell source o' mony a pain an' brash? [illness]
Twins mony a poor, doylt, drucken hash, [Robs, stupid, drunken oaf]
O' half his days;
An' sends, beside, auld Scotland's cash
To her warst faes.
Ye Scots, wha wish auld Scotland well,
Ye chief, to you my tale I tell,
Poor plackless devils like mysel' [penniless]
It sets you ill, [becomes]
Wi' bitter, dearthfu' wines to mell, [meddle]
Or foreign gill.
May gravels round his blather wrench, [ladder]
An' gouts torment him, inch by inch,
Wha twists his gruntle wi' a glunch [face, growl]
O' sour disdain,
Out owre a glass o' whisky punch
Wi' honest men!
O Whisky! soul o' plays an' pranks!
Accept a bardie's gratefu' thanks!
When wanting thee, what tuneless cranks [creakings]
Are my poor verses!
Thou comes--they rattle i' their ranks
At ither's arses!
Thee, Ferintosh![25] O sadly lost!
Scotland, lament frae coast to coast!
Now colic-grips an' barkin' hoast [cough]
May kill us a';
For loyal Forbes' charter'd boast
Is ta'en awa!
Thae curst horse-leeches o' th' Excise, [These]
Wha mak the whisky stells their prize-- [stills]
Haud up thy hand, deil! Ance--twice--thrice!
There, seize the blinkers! [spies]
An' bake them up in brunstane pies [brimstone]
For poor damn'd drinkers.


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