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Neilson, William Allan, 1869-1946

"Robert Burns How To Know Him"


Morality, thou deadly bane,
Thy tens o' thousands thou hast slain!
Vain is his hope, whose stay and trust is
In moral mercy, truth and justice!
No--stretch a point to catch a plack; [small coin]
Abuse a brother to his back;
Steal thro' the winnock frae a whore, [window from]
But point the rake that takes the door:
* * * * *
Be to the poor like ony whunstane, [any whinstone]
And haud their noses to the grunstane; [hold, grindstone]
Ply ev'ry art o' legal thieving;
No matter--stick to sound believing.
Learn three-mile pray'rs, an' half-mile graces,
Wi' weel-spread looves, an' lang, wry faces; [palms]
Grunt up a solemn, lengthen'd groan,
And damn a' parties but your own;
I'll warrant them ye're nae deceiver,
A steady, sturdy, staunch believer.
The period within which these satires were written was short--1785 and
1786; but some three years later, on the prosecution of a liberal
minister, Doctor McGill of Ayr, for the publication of _A Practical
Essay on the Death of Jesus Christ_, which was charged with teaching
Unitarianism, Burns took up the theme again. _The Kirk's Alarm_ is a
rattling "ballad," full of energy and scurrilous wit, but, like many
of its kind, it has lost much of its interest through the great amount
of personal detail.


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