You took
them as a compliment to your powers. And so when you had your chance to
go back to help Cynthia, you thought out no plan, you asked no advice.
You went down in a very self-sufficient mood, expecting that everything
would be easy."
"That is not true," I said. "I was very much perplexed."
"It is only too true," said Amroth; "you enjoyed your perplexity; I
daresay you called it faith to yourself! It was that which made you
weak. You lost your temper with Lucius, you made a miserable fight of
it--and even in prison you could not recognise that you were in fault.
You did better at the trial--I fully admit that you behaved well
there--but the fault is in this, that this girl gave you her heart and
her confidence, and you despised them. Your mind was taken up with other
things; a very little more, and you would be fit for the intellectual
paradise. There," he said, "I have nearly done! You may be angry if you
will, but that is the truth. You have a wrong idea of this place. It is
not plain sailing here. Life here is a very serious, very intricate,
very difficult business. The only complications which are removed are
the complications of the body; but one has anxious and trying
responsibilities all the same, and you have trifled with them.
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