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"From John O'Groats to Land's End"


Who could have invented those spades of wood?
Who was it that cut them out of the tree?
None, I think, but an idiot could--
Or one who loved the sea.
It is pleasant and dreamy, no doubt to float
With thoughts as boundless and souls as free,
But suppose you are very unwell in the boat--
Then how do you like the sea?
Would you like coffee with sand for dregs?
A decided hint of salt in your tea?
And a fishy taste in the very eggs?
Then by all means choose the sea.
And if with such dainties to drink and eat
You prefer not a vestige of grass or a tree,
And a chronic condition of wet in your feet,
Then--I recommend the sea.
There is an animal people avoid.
Whence is derived the verb to flee,
Where have you been by it most annoyed?
In lodgings by the sea.
Once I met with a friend in the street,
With wife and nurse and children three;
Never again such a sight may I meet,
As that party from the sea.
Their looks were sullen, their steps were slow,
Convicted felons they seemed to be,--
"Are you going to prison, dear friend?"--"Oh no;
We're returning from the sea!"
[Illustration: GUY FAWKES'S LANTERN.


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