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"From John O'Groats to Land's End"

" The appearance of this
book caused some surprise and amusement, as it was not known that the
Queen was particularly interested in _Conic Sections_. No doubt Her
Majesty anticipated, when she gave him the command personally, that his
next book would be a companion to the immortal _Alice_.
Our friend the vicar, who told us this story, rather surprised us when
he said that Lewis Carroll did not like the sea, and had written a "Sea
Dirge," which, when recited at parochial entertainments, generally
brought "down the house" at the conclusion of the ninth verse:
A SEA DIRGE
There are some things like a spider, a ghost.
The income tax, the gout, an umbrella for three.
That I hate, but the thing I hate the most,
Is a thing they call the sea.
Pour some salt water over the floor.
Ugly I'm sure you'll allow that to be,
Suppose it extended a mile or more,
That would be like the sea.
Beat a dog till it howls outright--
Cruel, but all very well for a spree;
Suppose it did so day and night,
That would be like the sea.
I had a vision of nursery maids,
Tens of thousands passed by me,
Each carrying children with wooden spades,
And that was by the sea.


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