Do you think that I could endure the
thought of being married to another man? The bare notion is horror--
horror--HORROR! Would I not rather die this minute; ay, or die a
thousand times!"
Again Ludovico got up from his chair and paced the room, sometimes
stopping abruptly in apparently deep thought, and sometimes resuming
his walk with every appearance of despair in his face and gestures.
It is needless to say that Paolina had spoken the very inmost truth
that was in her heart in all its entirety; but she had also
succeeded in making him feel that it was so.
There is often a feeling in a man's mind on such occasions--a
feeling too closely allied to selfishness--which leads him to be
dissatisfied with what seems to him the unwillingness of a woman to
make sacrifices to her love. And often a woman, knowing this, and
calculating mostly falsely, is urged to yield by a desire of proving
that she does not deserve such a suspicion. But Ludovico had no such
thought in his mind. He knew that Paolina had not only spoken truly,
but had represented her mind accurately. It was not that she
"respected herself." The poor child had never received any lessons
which could teach her such respect. She had been perfectly ready to
accept the social position of Ludovico's mistress, until the power
of a great, true, and pure love had unsealed the eyes of her
understanding, of her imagination, and of her heart to the nature--
not of the social position of such a tie as that proposed to her--
but of the absolute imperious necessity of sharing such a love with
none.
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