It knows nearly everything and guesses at the
rest. It will say almost anything and publish the rest at advertising
rates. Without it, democratic government would be difficult and
travelling in the Subway quite impossible. The newspaper is the only
institution since the world began that succeeds in being all things to
all men for the moderate sum of one cent a day. The only universal
things that come cheaper, the professor told me, are birth and death.
IX
A FLEDGLING
A sophomore's soul is not the simple thing that most people imagine. I
am thinking now of my nephew Philip and of our last meeting. This time,
he was more than usually welcome. I was lonely. The family had just left
town for the summer and the house was fearfully empty. I sat there,
smoking a cigarette amid the first traces of domestic uncleanliness,
when I heard him on the stairs. The dear boy had not changed. Dropping
his heavy suitcase anyways, he seized my hand within his own huge paw
and squeezed it till the tears came to my eyes. His voice was a young
roar. He threw his hat upon the table, thereby scattering a large number
of papers about the room, and then sat down upon my own hat, which was
lying on the armchair, on top of several July magazines.
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