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Strunsky, Simeon, 1879-1948

"The Patient Observer And His Friends"

I know one
sober, intelligent business-man who not only habitually understates, by
ten degrees, the temperature of his morning tub, but gives an
altogether distorted impression of the alacrity with which he leaps into
his bath every morning, and the reluctance with which he leaves it. This
same man asserts that he can now walk from the Chambers Street ferry to
his office in Wall Street in astonishing time. And not only that, but
since he took to walking as much as he could, he has cut down his daily
number of cigars to one-fourth (which is untrue). And not only that, but
since he has gone in for exercise and fresh air and has given up
smoking, his income has increased by at least 50 per cent., owing to his
improved health and clearer mental vision. But that again, as I happen
to know, is untrue.
But there is another, much more subtle form of prevarication. Smith
meets you in the street and remarks upon your flabby appearance. He
argues that you ought to weigh twenty-five pounds less than you do, and
that a long daily walk will do the trick. "Look at me," he says, "I walk
ten miles every day and there isn't an ounce of superfluous flesh on
me.


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