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Poe, Edgar Allen

"Never Bet The Devil Your Head"

His hands were clasped pensively
together over his stomach, and his two eyes were carefully rolled up
into the top of his head.
Upon observing him more closely, I perceived that he wore a black
silk apron over his small-clothes; and this was a thing which I
thought very odd. Before I had time to make any remark, however,
upon so singular a circumstance, he interrupted me with a second
"ahem!"
To this observation I was not immediately prepared to reply. The
fact is, remarks of this laconic nature are nearly unanswerable. I
have known a Quarterly Review non-plussed by the word "Fudge!" I am
not ashamed to say, therefore, that I turned to Mr. Dammit for
assistance.
"Dammit," said I, "what are you about? don't you hear?- the
gentleman says 'ahem!'" I looked sternly at my friend while I thus
addressed him; for, to say the truth, I felt particularly puzzled, and
when a man is particularly puzzled he must knit his brows and look
savage, or else he is pretty sure to look like a fool.
"Dammit," observed I- although this sounded very much like an
oath, than which nothing was further from my thoughts- "Dammit," I
suggested- "the gentleman says 'ahem!'"
I do not attempt to defend my remark on the score of profundity; I
did not think it profound myself; but I have noticed that the effect
of our speeches is not always proportionate with their importance in
our own eyes; and if I had shot Mr.


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