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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"

But strangely
attractive. Whom we will call Enid." One gathers that if all the
children had been Enids, then surely the last word in worlds had been
said. She has only this one grown-up of her very own; but she makes
it her business to adopt and reform all the incorrigible old folk the
other children have despaired of. It is all done by kindness. "She
is EVER patient. And just." Prominent among her numerous PROTEGEES
is a military man, an elderly colonel; until she took him in hand,
the awful example of what a grown-up might easily become, left to the
care of incompetent infants. He defies his own child, a virtuous
youth, but "lacking in sympathy;" is rude to his little nephews and
nieces; a holy terror to his governess. He uses wicked words, picked
up from retired pirates. "Of course without understanding. Their
terrible significance." He steals the Indian's fire-water. "What
few can partake of. With impunity." Certainly not the Colonel.
"Can this be he! This gibbering wreck!" He hides cigars in a hollow
tree, and smokes on the sly. He plays truant. Lures other old
gentlemen away from their lessons to join him. They are discovered
in the woods, in a cave, playing whist for sixpenny points.
Does Enid storm and bullyrag; threaten that if ever she catches him
so much as looking at a card again she will go straight out and tell
the dragon, who will in his turn be so shocked that in all
probability he will decide on coming back with her to kill and eat
the Colonel on the spot? No.


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