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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"


The bishop had told us all he had learnt about China during a visit
to San Francisco, while the man who had spent the last twenty years
of his life in the country was busy explaining his views on the
subject of the English drama. Our hostess had been endeavouring to
make the scientist feel at home by talking to him about radium. The
dramatist had explained at some length his views of the crisis in
Russia. The poet had quite spoilt his dinner trying to suggest to
the Cabinet Minister new sources of taxation. The Russian
revolutionist had told us what ought to have been a funny story about
a duck; and the lady novelist and the Cabinet Minister had discussed
Christian Science for a quarter of an hour, each under the mistaken
impression that the other one was a believer in it. The editor had
been explaining the attitude of the Church towards the New Theology;
and our host, one of the wittiest men at the Bar, had been talking
chiefly to the butler. The relief of listening to anybody talking
about something they knew was like finding a match-box to a man who
has been barking his shins in the dark. For the rest of the dinner
we clung to her.
I could have made myself quite interesting to these good squires and
farmers talking to them about theatres and the literary celebrities I
have met; and they could have told me dog stories and given me useful
information as to the working of the Small Holdings Act.


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