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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"

She said it was "so dramatic." One good thing came out of
it: Janie, in her quiet, quick way, saw to it that Ethelbertha and
Robina slipped into the house unnoticed by way of the dairy. When
they joined the other guests, half an hour later, they had had a cup
of tea and a rest, and were feeling calm and cool, with their hair
nicely done; and Ethelbertha remarked to Robina on the way home what
a comfort it must be to Mrs. St. Leonard to have a daughter so
capable, one who knew just the right thing to do, and did it without
making a fuss and a disturbance.
Everyone was very nice. Of course we made the usual mistake: they
talked to me about books and plays, and I gave them my views on
agriculture and cub-hunting. I'm not quite sure what fool it was who
described a bore as a man who talked about himself. As a matter of
fact it is the only subject the average man knows sufficiently well
to make interesting. There's a man I know; he makes a fortune out of
a patent food for infants. He began life as a dairy farmer, and hit
upon it quite by accident. When he talks about the humours of
company promoting and the tricks of the advertising agent he is
amusing. I have sat at his table, when he was a bachelor, and
listened to him by the hour with enjoyment. The mistake he made was
marrying a broad-minded, cultured woman, who ruined him--
conversationally, I mean. He is now well-informed and tiresome on
most topics.


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