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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"

Instead of which, out she whips this ridiculous book and asks me
if I would mind saying it over again.
"I keep forgetting to ask Janie what it is he has been accustomed to.
We have tried him with thistles, and we've tried him with hay. The
thistles he scratches himself against; but for the hay he appears to
have no use whatever. Robin thinks his idea is to save us trouble.
We are not to get in anything especially for him--whatever we may
happen to be having ourselves he will put up with. Bread-and-butter
cut thick, or a slice of cake with an apple seems to be his notion of
a light lunch; and for drink he fancies tea out of a slop-basin, with
two knobs of sugar and plenty of milk. Robin says it's waste of time
taking his meals out to him. She says she is going to train him to
come in when he hears the gong. We use the alarm clock at present
for a gong. I don't know what I shall do when the cow goes away.
She wakes me every morning punctually at half-past four, but I'm in a
blue funk that one of these days she will oversleep herself. It is
one of those clocks you read about. You wrote something rather funny
about one once yourself, but I always thought you had invented it. I
bought it because they said it was an extra loud one, and so it is.
The thing that's wrong about it is that, do what you will, you can't
get it to go off before six o'clock in the morning. I set it on
Sunday evening for half-past four--we farmers do have to work, I can
tell you.


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