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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"

I
like him better than I did the first time. About everything else he
can be fairly amiable. It is when he talks about 'frontal
elevations' and 'ground plans' that he irritates me. Tell Little
Mother that I'll write her to-morrow. Couldn't she come down with
you on Friday? Everything will be ship-shape by then; and--"
The remainder was of a nature more private. She concluded with a
postscript, which also I did not read to Ethelbertha.
"Thought I had finished telling you everything, when quite a stylish
rat-tat sounded on the door. I placed an old straw hat of Dick's in
a prominent position, called loudly to an imaginary 'John' not to go
without the letters, and then opened it. He turned out to be the
local reporter. I need not have been alarmed. He was much the more
nervous of the two, and was so full of excuses that had I not come to
his rescue I believe he would have gone away forgetting what he'd
come for. Nothing save an overwhelming sense of duty to the Public
(with a capital P) could have induced him to inflict himself upon me.
Could I give him a few details which would enable him to set rumour
right? I immediately saw visions of headlines: 'Domestic Tragedy!'
'Eminent Author blown up by his own Daughter!' 'Once Happy Home now
a Mere Wreck!' It seemed to me our only plan was to enlist this
amiable young man upon our side; I hope I did not overdo it. My idea
was to convey the impression that one glance at him had convinced me
he was the best and noblest of mankind; that I felt I could rely upon
his wit and courage to save us from a notoriety that, so far as I was
concerned, would sadden my whole life; and that if he did so eternal
gratitude and admiration would be the least I could lay at his feet.


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