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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"They and I"

"
"And by the shortest way?" questioned Dick.
"That is the shortest way," I explained; "there's a prettier way
through the woods, but that is about three miles and a half."
"But we had decided it was to be near the river," said Robin.
"We also decided," I replied, "that it was to be on sandy soil, with
a south-west aspect. Only one thing in this house has a south-west
aspect, and that's the back door. I asked the agent about the sand.
He advised me, if I wanted it in any quantity, to get an estimate
from the Railway Company. I wanted it on a hill. It is on a hill,
with a bigger hill in front of it. I didn't want that other hill. I
wanted an uninterrupted view of the southern half of England. I
wanted to take people out on the step, and cram them with stories
about our being able on clear days to see the Bristol Channel. They
might not have believed me, but without that hill I could have stuck
to it, and they could not have been certain--not dead certain--I was
lying.
"Personally, I should have liked a house where something had
happened. I should have liked, myself, a blood-stain--not a fussy
blood-stain, a neat unobtrusive blood-stain that would have been
content, most of its time, to remain hidden under the mat, shown only
occasionally as a treat to visitors. I had hopes even of a ghost. I
don't mean one of those noisy ghosts that doesn't seem to know it is
dead. A lady ghost would have been my fancy, a gentle ghost with
quiet, pretty ways.


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