But, I
knew something of its depths. I knew the struggle it had made. I
knew its high, inestimable worth to him, and his appreciation of
it, let him love me as he would. I knew the debt I owed it. I had
its great example every day before me. What you had done for me, I
knew that I could do, Grace, if I would, for you. I never laid my
head down on my pillow, but I prayed with tears to do it. I never
laid my head down on my pillow, but I thought of Alfred's own words
on the day of his departure, and how truly he had said (for I knew
that, knowing you) that there were victories gained every day, in
struggling hearts, to which these fields of battle were nothing.
Thinking more and more upon the great endurance cheerfully
sustained, and never known or cared for, that there must be, every
day and hour, in that great strife of which he spoke, my trial
seemed to grow light and easy. And He who knows our hearts, my
dearest, at this moment, and who knows there is no drop of
bitterness or grief - of anything but unmixed happiness - in mine,
enabled me to make the resolution that I never would be Alfred's
wife. That he should be my brother, and your husband, if the
course I took could bring that happy end to pass; but that I never
would (Grace, I then loved him dearly, dearly!) be his wife!'
'O Marion! O Marion!'
'I had tried to seem indifferent to him;' and she pressed her
sister's face against her own; 'but that was hard, and you were
always his true advocate.
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