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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

"

The Dog and His Reflection

A STATE Official carrying off the Dome of the Capitol met the Ghost
of his predecessor, who had come out of his political grave to warn
him that God saw him. As the place of meeting was lonely and the
time midnight, the State Official set down the Dome of the Capitol,
and commanded the supposed traveller to throw up his hands. The
Ghost replied that he had not eaten them, and while he was
explaining the situation another State Official silently added the
dome to his own collection.

The Lion, the Bear, and the Fox

Two Thieves having stolen a Piano and being unable to divide it
fairly without a remainder went to law about it and continued the
contest as long as either one could steal a dollar to bribe the
judge. When they could give no more an Honest Man came along and
by a single small payment obtained a judgment and took the Piano
home, where his daughter used it to develop her biceps muscles,
becoming a famous pugiliste.

The Ass and the Lion's Skin

A MEMBER of the State Militia stood at a street corner, scowling
stormily, and the people passing that way went a long way around
him, thinking of the horrors of war.


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