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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"


"It is all very well," said the Monkey, "to laugh at my offspring,
but you go into any gallery of antique sculpture and look at the
statues and busts of the fellows that you begot yourself."
"'Sh! don't expose me," said Jupiter, and awarded her the first
prize.

The Man and the Dog

A MAN who had been bitten by a Dog was told that the wound would
heal if he would dip a piece of bread in the blood and give it to
the Dog. He did so.
"No," said the Dog; "if I were to accept that, it might be thought
that in biting you I was actuated by improper motives."
"And by what motives were you actuated?" asked the Man.
"I desired," replied the Dog, "merely to harmonise myself with the
Divine Scheme of Things. I'm a child of Nature."

The Cat and the Birds

HEARING that the Birds in an aviary were ill, a Cat went to them
and said that he was a physician, and would cure them if they would
let him in.
"To what school of medicine do you belong?" asked the Birds.
"I am a Miaulopathist," said the Cat.


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