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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"


"Why did you do that?" said the Dogs.
"Because," replied the Sheep, "I am a vegetarian."

The Thief and the Honest Man

A THIEF who had brought a suit against his accomplices to recover
his share of the plunder taken from an Honest Man, demanded the
Honest Man's attendance at the trial to testify to his loss. But
the Honest Man explained that as he was merely the agent of a
company of other honest men it was none of his affair; and when the
officers came to serve him with a subpoena he hid himself behind
his back and wiled away the dragging hours of retirement and
inaction by picking his own pockets.

The Dutiful Son

A MILLIONAIRE who had gone to an almshouse to visit his father met
a Neighbour there, who was greatly surprised.
"What!" said the Neighbour, "you do sometimes visit your father?"
"If our situations were reversed," said the Millionaire, "I am sure
he would visit me. The old man has always been rather proud of me.
Besides," he added, softly, "I had to have his signature; I am
insuring his life.


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