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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

"
"Then thou art a happy man," said the Dishonest Gain, "and thy
bleeding head is but mere dissembling. Who art thou, great actor?"
"I am known," said the Object, dashing itself again at the wall,
"as the Consciousness of Duty Well Performed."

The Appropriate Memorial

A HIGH Public Functionary having died, the citizens of his town
held a meeting to consider how to honour his memory, and an Other
High Public Functionary rose and addressed the meeting.
"Mr. Chairman and Gintlemen," said the Other, "it sames to me, and
I'm hopin' yez wull approve the suggistion, that an appropriet way
to honour the mimory of the decaised would be to erect an emolument
sootably inscribed wid his vartues."
The soul of the great man looked down from Heaven and wept.

A Needless Labour

AFTER waiting many a weary day to revenge himself upon a Lion for
some unconsidered manifestation of contempt, a Skunk finally saw
him coming, and posting himself in the path ahead uttered the
inaudible discord of his race.


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