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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"



A Revivalist Revived

A REVIVALIST who had fallen dead in the pulpit from too violent
religious exercise was astonished to wake up in Hades. He promptly
sent for the Adversary of Souls and demanded his freedom,
explaining that he was entirely orthodox, and had always led a
pious and holy life.
"That is all very true," said the Adversary, "but you taught by
example that a verb should not agree with its subject in person and
number, whereas the Good Book says that contention is worse than a
dinner of herbs. You also tried to release the objective case from
its thraldom to the preposition, and it is written that servants
should obey their masters. You stay right here."

The Debaters

A HURLED-BACK Allegation, which, after a brief rest, had again
started forth upon its mission of mischief, met an Ink-stand in
mid-air.
"How did the Honourable Member whom you represent know that I was
coming again?" inquired the Hurled-back Allegation.
"He did not," the Inkstand replied; "he isn't at all forehanded at
repartee.


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