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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

In consultation with his client the Lawyer asked, "Have
you accomplices?"
"Yes, sir," replied the Burglar. "I have two, but neither has been
taken. I hired one to defend me against capture, you to defend me
against conviction."
This answer deeply impressed the Lawyer, and having ascertained
that the Burglar had accumulated no money in his profession he
threw up the case.

The Fabulist and the Animals

A WISE and illustrious Writer of Fables was visiting a travelling
menagerie with a view to collecting literary materials. As he was
passing near the Elephant, that animal said:
"How sad that so justly famous a satirist should mar his work by
ridicule of people with long noses - who are the salt of the
earth!"
The Kangaroo said:
"I do so enjoy that great man's censure of the ridiculous -
particularly his attacks on the Proboscidae; but, alas! he has no
reverence for the Marsupials, and laughs at our way of carrying our
young in a pouch."
The Camel said:
"If he would only respect the sacred Hump, he would be faultless.


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