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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

"
"That is all very true," said the Republican Form of Government,
putting on its hobnail shoes; "but consider how I thrill you every
Fourth of July."

The Life Saver

AN Ancient Maiden, standing on the edge of a wharf near a Modern
Swain, was overheard rehearsing the words:
"Noble preserver! The life that you have saved is yours!"
Having repeated them several times with various intonations, she
sprang into the water, where she was suffered to drown.
"I am a noble preserver," said the Modern Swain, thoughtfully
moving away; "the life that I have saved is indeed mine."

The Man and the Bird

A MAN with a Shotgun said to a Bird:
"It is all nonsense, you know, about shooting being a cruel sport.
I put my skill against your cunning-that is all there is of it. It
is a fair game."
"True," said the Bird, "but I don't wish to play."
"Why not?" inquired the Man with a Shotgun.
"The game," the Bird replied, "is fair as you say; the chances are
about even; but consider the stake.


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