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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

"
"But that, if you please, is not all." The Woman was growing more
and more confused. "I poisoned my husband. I chopped up my
babies. I - "
"Ah," said the Saint, with sudden austerity, "your confession
suggests a very grave possibility. Were you a member of the
Women's Press Association?"
The lady drew herself up and replied with warmth:
"I was not."
The gates of pearl and jasper swung back upon their golden hinges,
making the most ravishing music, and the Saint, stepping aside,
bowed low, saying:
"Enter, then, into thine eternal rest."
But the Woman hesitated.
"The poisoning - the chopping - the - the - " she stammered.
"Of no consequence, I assure you. We are not going to be hard on a
lady who did not belong to the Women's Press Association. Take a
harp."
"But I applied for membership - I was blackballed."
"Take two harps."

The Catted Anarchist

AN Anarchist Orator who had been struck in the face with a Dead Cat
by some Respector of Law to him unknown, had the Dead Cat arrested
and taken before a Magistrate.


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