"
The great and good friend was so struck by the hard sense of the
letter that he kept his navy at home, and saved one thousand
million dollars. This economy enabled him to buy a satisfactory
decision when the cause of the quarrel was submitted to
arbitration.
Two Footpads
Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the
evening's adventures.
"I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I
got away with what he had."
"And I," said the Second Footpad, "stood up the United States
District Attorney, and got away with - "
"Good Lord!" interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration -
"you got away with what that fellow had?"
"No," the unfortunate narrator explained - "with a small part of
what I had."
Equipped for Service
DURING the Civil War a Patriot was passing through the State of
Maryland with a pass from the President to join Grant's army and
see the fighting. Stopping a day at Annapolis, he visited the shop
of a well-known optician and ordered seven powerful telescopes, one
for every day in the week.
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