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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Fantastic Fables"

They
had therefore sent a call to Brother Jowjeetum-Fallal, the World-
Renowned Hindoo Human Pin-Wheel, then holding forth in Hoopitup's
circus. They were happy to say that the reverend gentleman had
been moved by the Spirit to accept the call, and on the ensuing
Sabbath would break the bread of life for the brethren or break his
neck in the attempt.

The Man and the Lightning

A MAN Running for Office was overtaken by Lightning.
"You see," said the Lightning, as it crept past him inch by inch,
"I can travel considerably faster than you."
"Yes," the Man Running for Office replied, "but think how much
longer I keep going!"

The Lassoed Bear

A HUNTER who had lassoed a Bear was trying to disengage himself
from the rope, but the slip-knot about his wrist would not yield,
for the Bear was all the time pulling in the slack with his paws.
In the midst of his trouble the Hunter saw a Showman passing by,
and managed to attract his attention.
"What will you give me," he said, "for my Bear?"
"It will be some five or ten minutes," said the Showman, "before I
shall want a fresh Bear, and it looks to me as if prices would fall
during that time.


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