They have,
however, both felt the consequences, and been forewarned of the
danger. _They_ have no excuse: _mine_ was, that I had been excluded
from the society of those I loved. Always living by excitement, was it
surprising that, when a gaming-table displayed its hoards before me, I
should have fallen at once into the snare?
For the first time since my illness, I became interested, and laid
down my money on those abhorred tables. My success was variable; but
I congratulated myself that at length I had found a stimulus; and I
anxiously awaited the return of the hour when the doors would again be
opened, and the rooms lighted up for the reception of company. I won
considerably; and night after night found me at the table--for avarice
is insatiable; but my good luck left me: and then the same motive
induced me to return, with the hope of winning back what I had lost.
Still fortune was unpropitious, and I lost very considerable sums. I
became desperate; and drew largely on my father. He wrote to beg that
I would be more moderate; as twice his income would not support such
an expenditure. He wrote also to Talbot, who informed him in
what manner the money had been expended; and that he had in vain
endeavoured to divert me from the fatal practice. Finding that no
limits were likely to be put to my folly, my father very properly
refused to honour any more of my bills.
Maddened with this intimation, for which I secretly blamed Talbot, I
drew upon Eugenia's banker bill after bill, until the sum amounted
to more than what my father had paid.
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