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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Or, The Naval Officer"

Ned and I looked at each other, then at the
pail, then at the admiral. Ned thought of his Maria: I of my false
introduction. Without saying a word, we both laid our hands on the
pail, and in an instant, souse went all the contents over the admiral.
"I say, what's this?" he roared out. "Oh, you d----d rascals!"
He knew it could only be us. We laughed so immoderately, that we
had not the power to move or to speak; while the poor admiral was
spitting, sputtering, and coughing, enough to bring his heart up.
"You infernal villains! No respect for a flag-officer? I'll serve you
out for this."
The tears rolled down our cheeks; but not with grief. As soon as
the admiral had sufficiently recovered himself to go in pursuit, we
thought it time to make sail. We knew we were discovered; and as the
matter could not be made worse, we resolved to tell him what it was
for. Ned began.
"How do you do, admiral? you have taken a shower-bath this morning."
He looked up, with his teeth clenched--"Oh, it's you, is it? Yes, I
thought it could be no one else. Yes, I have had a shower-bath, and be
d----d to you; and that sea-devil of a friend of yours. Pretty pass
the service has come to, when officers of my rank are treated in this
way. I'll make you both envy the tom-cat."
"Beware the housekeeper, admiral," said Ned. "Maria has made it up
with me, admiral, and she sends her love to you."
"D----n Maria."
"Oh, very well, I'll tell her so," said Ned.


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