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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Or, The Naval Officer"

"
"Then," said I, "these are not the bon-ton of Philadelphia?"
"Just as much as Nancy Dennis is the bon-ton of Halifax," said the
admiral; "though the uncle, as I told you, is a sensible fellow in his
way."
"Very well," said I; "you have caught me for once; but remember, I pay
you for it."
And I was not long in his debt. Had he not given me this explanation,
I should have received a very false impression of the ladies of
Philadelphia, and have done them an injustice for which I should never
have forgiven myself.
The time of our sailing drew near. This was always a melancholy time
in Halifax; but my last act on shore was one which created some mirth,
and enlivened the gloom of my departure. My friend Ned and myself had
not yet had an opportunity of paying off Sir Hurricane Humbug for
telling tales to Maria, and for his false introduction to myself. One
morning we both came out of our rooms at the same moment, and were
proceeding to the breakfast parlour, when we spied the admiral
performing some experiment. Unfortunately for him, he was seated in
such a manner, just clear of a pent-house, as to be visible from our
position; and at the same time, the collar of his coat would exactly
intersect the segment of a circle described by any fluid, projected by
us over this low roof, which would thus act as a conductor into the
very pole of his neck.
The housemaid (these housemaids are always the cause or the
instruments of mischief, either by design or neglect), had left
standing near the window a pail nearly filled with dirty water, from
the wash-hand basins, &c.


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