That I felt gratitude to God for
my deliverance and safe return, I do most solemnly aver; my heart was
ready to burst with the escape of this feeling, which I suppressed
from a false sense of shame, though I never was given much to the
melting mood; moreover, I was too proud to show what I thought a
weakness, before the great he-fellows of footmen. Had we been in
private, I could have fallen down on my knees before that God whom I
had so often offended; who had rescued me twice from the jaws of the
shark; who had lifted me from the depth of the sea when darkness
covered me; who had saved me from the poison and the wreck, and guided
me clear of the rock at Trinidad; and who had sent the dog to save me
from a horrible death.
These were only a small part of the mercies I had received; but they
were the most recent, and consequently had left the deepest impression
on my memory. I would have given one of Emily's approving smiles, much
as I valued them, to have been relieved from my oppressed feelings
by a hearty flood of tears, and by a solemn act of devotion and
thanksgiving; but I felt all this, and that feeling, I hope, was
accounted to me for righteousness. For the first time in my life, the
love of God was mixed up with a pure and earthly love for Emily, and
affection for my family.
The ladies sat with us some time after the cloth was removed, unable
to drag themselves away, while I related my "hair-breadth escapes.
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