In this
situation, candour, and an honest confession that I felt a _mauvaise
honte_ in disclosing my passion to my father would undoubtedly have
been my safest course; but my right trusty friend, the devil, stepped
in to my assistance, and suggested deceit, or a continuation of that
chain by which he had long since bound me, and not one link of which
he took care should ever be broken; and fortunately for me, this plan
answered, at the time, better than candour.
"I must acknowledge, sir," said I, "that appearances are against me. I
can only trust to your patient hearing, while I state the real facts.
Allow me first to say, that my father's observations are hardly
warranted by the conversation which took place; and if you will
please, in the first place, to consider that that very conversation
originated in my expressing a wish and intention of coming down to see
you, and to produce to your daughter the memento so carefully guarded
during my long absence, you must perceive that there is an incongruity
in my conduct, difficult to explain; but still, through all these
mazes and windings, I trust that truth and constancy will be found
at the bottom. You may probably laugh at the idea, but I really
felt jealous of my father's praises so lavishly bestowed on Miss
Somerville; and not supposing he was aware of my attachment, I began
to fear he had pretensions of his own. He is a widower, healthy, and
not old; and it appeared to me that he only wanted my admiration to
justify his choice of a step-mother for myself and sister.
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