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Marryat, Frederick, 1792-1848

"Or, The Naval Officer"


We were ordered to Quebec, sailed through the beautiful Gut of Canso,
and up the spacious and majestic St Lawrence, passing in sight of the
Island of Anticosta. Nothing material occurred during the passage,
save that a Scotch surgeon's-assistant, having adopted certain
aristocratic notions, required a democratical lecture on heads, which
was duly administered to him. He pretended that he was, by birth and
education (at Edinburgh), entitled to be at the head of our mess. This
I resisted, and soon taught the ambitious son of Esculapius that the
science of defence was as important as the art of healing; and that
if he was skilful in this latter, I would give him an opportunity of
employing it on his own person: whereupon I implanted on his cinciput,
occiput, os frontis, os nasi, and all other vulnerable parts of
his body, certain concussions calculated to stupify and benumb
the censorium, and to produce under each eye a quantity of black
extravasated blood; while, at the same time, a copious stream of
carmine fluid issued from either nostril. It was never my habit to
bully or take any unfair advantage; so, having perceived a cessation
of arms on his part, I put the usual interrogatives as to whether the
party contending was satisfied; and being answered in the affirmative,
I laid by my metacarpal bones until they might be farther wanted,
either for reproof or correction.
We anchored off Cape Diamond, which divides the St Lawrence from the
little river St Charles.


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