These had
devoured the poor sailor, and, fortunately for me, had followed the
ship for more prey, and thus left me to myself.
As I went up the side, I was received by the captain and officers in
the most flattering manner; the captain thanked me in the presence of
the ship's company for my praiseworthy exertions, and I was gazed on
by all as an object of interest and admiration; but if others thought
so of me, I thought not so of myself. I retired below to my berth with
a loathing and contempt, a self-abasement, which I cannot describe. I
felt myself unworthy of the mercy I had received. The disgraceful
and vicious course of life I had led, burst upon me with horrible
conviction. "_Caelo tonantem credidimus Jovem regnare_," says
Horace; and it was only by the excitement of such peculiarly horrid
situations, that the sense of a superintending power could be awakened
within me, a hardened and incorrigible sinner.
I changed my clothes, and was glad when night came, that I might be
left to myself; but oh, how infinitely more horrid did my situation
appear! I shuddered when I thought of what I had gone through, and I
made the most solemn promises of a new life. How transient were these
feelings! How long did these good resolutions last? Just as long as no
temptation came in the way; as long as there was no excitement to sin,
no means of gratifying appetite. My good intentions were traced in the
sand. I was very soon as thoughtless and as profane as ever, although
frequently checked by the remembrance of my providential escape; and
for years afterwards the thoughts of the shark taking me by the leg
was accompanied by the acknowledgment that the devil would have me in
like manner, if I did not amend.
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