"We have no bad wives in the bottom of the sea: and so if you don't
know how to keep 'em in order, send them to us."
"But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in
England, if the king was to beat his wife."
"Make the lords in waiting do it then," said the Surly god; "and if
they are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain's
mate from the Royal Billy--he'd sarve her out, I warrant you; and, for
half a gallon of rum, would teach the yeomen of the guard to dance the
binnacle hornpipe into the bargain."
"His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune;
but whether he will follow it or not is not for me to say. Would you
please to drink his royal highness's good health?"
"With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready to
drink his health, and to fight for him."
The captain presented the god with a bumper of Madeira, and another to
the goddess.
"Here's a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all the
royal family. The roads are unkimmon dusty, and we hav'n't wet our
lips since we left St Thomas on the line, this morning. But we have no
time to lose, captain," said the sea god; "I see many new faces here,
as requires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic,
they will be all the better for it."
The captain nodded assent; and Neptune, striking the deck with the end
of his trident, commanded attention, and thus addressed his court:
"Heark ye, my Tritons, you are called here to shave, duck, and physic
all as needs, but I command you to be gentle.
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