They were dancing to the music of a piano,
played on by my aunt, while my father sat in his arm-chair, in high
good-humour.
This was a very different scene from what I had expected. I was
prepared for a sentimental and affecting meeting; and my feelings were
all worked up to their full bearing for the occasion. Judge, then, of
the sudden revulsion in my mind, when I found mirth and good
humour where I expected tears and lamentations. It had escaped my
recollection, that although the death of my mother was an event new
to me, it had happened six months before I had heard of it; and,
consequently, with them grief had given way to time. I was astonished
at their apparent want of feeling; while they gazed with surprise at
the sight of me, and the symbols of woe displayed in my equipment.
My father welcomed me with surprise; asked where my ship was, and what
had brought her home. The fact was, that in my sudden determination to
return to England, I had spared myself the trouble of writing to make
known my intentions; and, indeed, if I had written, I should have
arrived as soon as my letter, unless (which I ought to have done) I
had written on my arrival at Portsmouth, instead of throwing away my
time in the very worst species of dissipation. Unable, therefore, in
the presence of many witnesses, to give my father that explanation
which he had a right to expect, I suffered greatly for a time in his
opinion. He very naturally supposed that some disgraceful conduct on
my part was the cause of my sudden return.
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