Many jokes were passed on
the occasion; but I was not in humour for joking on serious subjects:
and before the watch was out I had made up my mind to go home, and to
quit the service, as I found I had no chance of obeying my mother's
dying injunctions if I remained where I was.
The next morning I stated my wishes to the captain, not of quitting
the service, but of going home in consequence of family arrangements.
This was about as necessary as that I should make a pilgrimage to
Jerusalem. The captain had been told of the unpleasant news I had
received, and having listened to all I had to say, he replied, that if
I could make up my mind to remain with him it would be better for me.
"You are now," said he, "accustomed to my ways--you know your duty,
and do your work well; indeed, I have made honourable mention of you
to the Admiralty in my public letter: you know your own business best"
(here he was mistaken--he ought not to have parted with me for the
reasons which I offered); "but my advice to you is to stay."
I thanked him--but being bent and determined on going home, he acceded
to my request; gave me my discharge, and added a very handsome
certificate of good conduct, far beyond the usually prescribed form;
he also told me that if I chose to return to him he would keep a
vacancy for me. I parted with the officers, my messmates, and the
ship's company with regret. I had been more than three years with
them; and my stormy commencement had settled down into a quiet and
peaceful acknowledgment of my supremacy in the berth; my qualities
were such as to make me a universal favourite, and I was followed down
the ship's side with the hearty good wishes of all.
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