True
it is, that in the days of my youth, I did enjoy myself. I was happy
for a time, if happiness it could be called; but dearly have I
paid for it. I contracted a debt, which I have been liquidating by
instalments ever since; nor am I yet emancipated. Even the small
portion of felicity that fell to my lot on this memorable morning was
brief in duration, and speedily followed by chagrin.
But to return to my uniform. I had arrayed myself in it; my dirk was
belted round my waist; a cocked-hat, of an enormous size, stuck on my
head; and, being perfectly satisfied with my own appearance, at the
last survey which I had made in the glass, I first rang for the
chambermaid, under pretence of telling her to make my room tidy, but,
in reality, that she might admire and compliment me, which she very
wisely did; and I was fool enough to give her half a crown and a kiss,
for I felt myself quite a man. The waiter, to whom the chambermaid had
in all probability communicated the circumstance, presented himself,
and having made a low bow, offered the same compliments, and received
the same reward, save the kiss. Boots would, in all probability, have
come in for his share, had he been in the way, for I was fool enough
to receive all their fine speeches as if they were my due, and to pay
for them at the same time in ready money. I was a gudgeon and they
were sharks; and more sharks would soon have been about me, for I
heard them, as they left the room, call "boots" and "ostler," of
course to assist in lightening my purse.
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