"
"I can't, I can't do it, Doctor!"
"Humph! I didn't suppose you could," came dryly from the old man.
Dan did not heed but went on in a hopeless tone to tell the Doctor how he
had written his resignation, and had declined to consider the call to
Chicago. "Don't you see that I couldn't take a church if one were offered
me now?" he asked. "Don't you understand what this has done for me? It's
not the false charges. It's not that! It's--it's the thing, whatever it
is, that has made this action of the church possible. I am forced to
doubt, not alone the church, but everything--the people, myself, God,
Christ, Christianity, life itself; everything! How can I go on with a
work, in which I cannot say to myself with truth that I believe?" His
voice ended in a groan.
And the old man, who knew the lad so well felt as though he were gazing
upon the big, naked soul. Then, indeed, the Doctor knew that the hour had
come.
There are those who, capable of giving but little to life, demand of life
much in return. To such weak natures doubt means not much. But souls like
this one, capable of giving themselves to the last atom of their
strength, demand no small returns in convictions as to the worthiness of
the cause to which they contribute. To such, doubt is destruction. It was
because Dan had believed so strongly, so wholly in the ministry of the
church that he had failed. Had he not accepted so unreservedly, and given
himself so completely to the ministry as it was presented to him in
theory, had he in some degree doubted, he would have been able to adjust
himself to the actual conditions.
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