It seems to me
that my old barbaric, Titanic self, with its hairy arms, is
constantly more and more rubbing the sleep out of its eyes. I hope
that some vine may still grow upon the scorched and petrified
volcano of my heart."
January, 1826. "But when one is compelled to despise the
_character_ of a human being, especially of one who has been or is
dear to one, then that is the bitterest experience which life can
afford; then it is not strange if a frank and ardent soul turns
with loathing from this false, hypocritical generation and shuts
himself up, as well as may be, in the hermitage of his own heart.
"My mind is unchristian, for it has no day of rest. Generally I
think that my disease has its seat in the abdomen or in the waist.
Mineral waters I can no more drink this summer. But is there not a
mineral water which is called Lethe?
"Whether my little personality returns thither whence it came, with
or without consciousness, a few months later or earlier, in order
to be drowned in its great fountain-head, or to float for some time
yet like a bubble, reflecting the clouds and an alien light--this
appears to me constantly a matter of less and less consequence.
Pages:
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360