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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 21, 1919"

It was not necessary for a conductor.
But he knew of pianists who practised for six or even eight hours a
day with impunity.
_Sir Gladney Jebb_. Do you not think that if all compositions were
written in the key of C it would materially conduce to the greatest
happiness of the greatest number?--The President has already
deprecated the multiplication of hypothetical questions, which have
reached a total of more than fifteen thousand.
_Viscount Vermicelli_. Do you think that the unrestrained performance
of Jazz-music conduces to the moral betterment of the simian
proletariat?--That seems to me to be a question which bears on the
administration of the Unnecessary Noises Act.
Are you in favour of the establishment of a Ministry for the Control
of Syncopation?--No; but I would cordially support a Bill for the
Compulsory Segregation of Irresponsible Collectivists.
In reply to Mr. Moody MacTear, Sir Mark Holloway said that he had
never been down a coal-mine, but that he had a few shares in a
gold-mine, which had cost him five pounds a-piece, but had never borne
any dividends and were now quoted at one-and-sixpence.


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