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Haggard, H. Rider (Henry Rider), 1856-1925

"Mr. Meeson's Will"


"Oh, no, I should not," answered Eustace; "I've quite made up my mind.
Let them stick to their mesne" (here James made a face); "Well, then, to
their middle or intermediate or their anything else profits. No appeals
for me, if I can avoid it. Send News a telegram."
"That," began James, in his most solemn and legal tones, "is a view of
the matter in which I am glad to be able to heartily coincide,
although it seems to me that there are several points, which I will
touch on one by one."
"Good gracious! no," broke in Lady Holmhurst; "but I think it is rather
_mean_ of them, don't you, Mr. Short?"
James looked puzzled. "I do not quite take Lady Holmhurst's point," he
said plaintively.
"Then you must be stupid," said Eustace, "Don't you see the
joke?--'_mesne_ profits,' _mean_ of them?"
"Ah," said James, with satisfaction; "I perceive. Lady Holmhurst does not
seem to be aware that although 'mesne'--a totally erroneous word--is
pronounced 'mean,' it is spelt m-e-s-n-e."
"I stand corrected," said Lady Holmhurst, with a little curtsey. "I
thought that Mr. James Short would take my ignorance into account, and
understand what I _mean_!"
This atrocious pun turned the laugh against the learned James, and then,
the telegram to News and News having been dispatched, they all went in to
the wedding breakfast.


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